It was until recently, in this new year of 2014 that I realized the reasons why it has been taking me so long to move on to the next levels in my life. I met someone, a very insightful intelligent and a little twisted guy. Very professional,good looking to my eyes, a very infectious sense of calmness that makes you want to confess all your sins. He is very charming an underlying sense of charisma that emerges in his patience aura. It is in his authoritative voice that you realize he is very experienced in his field and just knows how to pick a needle from the hay. We have known each other less than four months from a different engagement, but he asked me questions that took me back to 2002, when I was exposed to the Regional facilitation team.
I spent two days in my house thinking about very many thing that happened between 2002 to 2013; - that's alot eh! the relationships I built, the pains I experienced, the decisions I made some not very good! and how that time totally changed who I was as a person, a big portion of my youth was embedded in serious significant work not only for the Kingdom, but for Africa and The Salvation Army.
Since 2009, I have achieved alot, I went back to school done over 10 consultancies, I have done three seasons with NMS, I have gotten back to being active at my church, even playing a musical instrument. I have developed other friendships but more than that! I have taken a vocational path that has led me to realize that, I need to get back on the horse. God has invested so much in me, and it needs to come out. I should be doing more than what I have been. Since that time I have also lost alot, I lost close friends (not through death), but the chance to see them regularly, I lost alot of my investments, I lost what I would have called a steady job, I lost 'space' to pour forth what was inside me that in some instances, I felt like I would go crazy.
This gentleman I met recently, he asked me very simple questions like a good friend, very, very simple questions! that kept me thinking alot. One thing he did say though, is that I have some unfinished business of the past; - it is this response that drew me back to 2002.
I have had the chance to reflect, and make some concrete decisions, I need to MOVE ON! in all areas of my life. To look for a new environment, to immerse myself in a different lifestyle that is different. As long as I am still linked to that past in anyway, it will be hard for me to move on even with personal relationships. Its time I looked for a job, changed my directions, maybe move houses if possible, get a fresh START TO GET THAT REST from what has been routine since 2002. I need to let go that past and the friends I 'lost', and take the good things with me into the future. I have been active at my Corps and I have realized that as long as I am doing certain things, other young people will never grow, as a believer in leadership development, I have to create that space for others to grow. MOVING ON....
This decisions and thought processes have changed my life totally, and the decisions I have begun to make for 2014. The gentleman might not know it; - or he might think differently;- but I will forever remember that time with him.
One of my decisions for this year is to blog more, do personal journal-ling during devotions. It is in these devotional write ups and when listening to God that I wrote so many songs, poems and generated inspirational words that others read and grew from. If I have time and will try, is to start developing a devotional from my insights during devotions.
Leadership development and mentoring is still a core pathway and area of interest, and in whichever way I will use, this year at least I need to bring more people to Christ, I need to build others to know what I do. The spirit of oppression will not keep me down, I need to let go. I want to take more faith leaps in my life and release what the Lord has invested inside me that seems to want to burst. I believe in God for a job, I believe in Him for relationships, and I believe in Him for a family and great changes in my life this year because, He. Is. Near!
I don't know if I will ever see this gentleman again who hit my head back and forth, I sure hope so, but until then. I know my life will not be the same again.
